In Remembrance of Judge Mike Machado

Today marks the 12th anniversary of my amazing grandfather's death. He was a great man. I wish I knew him better, as I was only 8 when he died. But it's articles like this that comfort me in knowing that he truly was an amazing, virtuous, selfless person, and every day I will try to live my life as he would have done, and in such a way that will make him proud to have me as his granddaughter. Love you, Grandpa.

STARingBUCKS

Have you ever just sat down at Starbucks and soaked up the awesomeness that is the environment that you're in? Not just Starbucks, but any public place - from a coffee shop to a park to the mall. People say that you can determine a lot about a person by exchanging a few words with them, but I think it's all about observing them in their favorite public places. Those are the places where people feel almost as comfortable as being in their own home. Right now at Starbucks, there's a little bit of everything: the yuppies, the girl wearing practically nothing, the nervous interviewee, the business partners, the girl sitting here absentmindedly typing away at her blog....oh. But seriously, I've learned so much about Mr. Acer-Laptop-sitting-by-the-condiments-table's study habits (fidgety and nervous, but has good posture. Is it really necessary to have 2 drinks? Maximizing the liquid intake is just going to maximize impact on bladder, thus taking away more minutes from studying, DUH.), and the dudes who are rudely blabbering louder than everyone, complaining about having to pay for the tux of the wedding they are standing in (bro-douches who want to re-enact the Hangover for the bachelor party). Or what about the two business men who are practically yelling at each other over their sales projection for the past month? They say you can't tell a book by its cover, but you can definitely learn a lot about a person by observing their habits.

Which leads me to wonder what all these people would observe about me. I'm here typing on my laptop, switching between my email, Facebook, Twitter, Blog, and InStyle. I would probably think that I'm avoiding doing actual work, and assume I'm some huge ditz who wants attention with my pink laptop case AND pink Marc Jacobs bag. Not to mention the huge bow in my hair. But I'm actually not like that, at all. I'm just a nanny who has her day off and is using Starbucks' free wi-fi to get my daily dose of internet in, given that my apartment doesn't have any. I'm about to do laundry and work out, then entertain my friends who are going to be in town this weekend. I have a great family and friends and boyfriend, and miss my dog terribly. I'm a Catholic college student who happens to be in charge of a business club on campus and have 3 bomb internships waiting for me. I don't know what my future holds for me, or even what I'm going to eat for lunch, but I do know who I am.

I wonder if my comrades at Starbucks all know who they are also, or at least what they're going to eat for lunch (I'm starving, sorry). I wonder how wrong my judgments on these people are.I wonder where all these people are headed to next, whether they're happy with their jobs or relationships, what kind of lives they lead behind closed doors, and ultimately, I will never know that by just observing them. So I guess I can't completely rule the whole "get to know a person" thing out.

24-3 months

So today marks the 1 year and 9 month anniversary of Tony and me. I have never, ever, EVER been in a relationship this long, much less liked someone this long or this much in my life. To think that we've been in a stable, healthy relationship for this long is really comforting to me and I've never been happier! This is surreal and really weird, though. We've definitely come a long way...from my awkward prospy visit to unnecessary drama to becoming official to falling in love to spending a semester apart to...well I think I've made my point. Love.

Final Analysis

That's my dog, Chubby. He's the perfect sibling. He doesn't fight with me, argue back, or steal my clothes behind my back.

Mikey and I got into an argument today over attention spans. He told me I have a very short one because I change the radio station in the middle of a song I had been listening to. I told him he had one because he can't even finish a book. He argued that he doesn't even start the book, so it has nothing to do with attention span. But I told him that he didn't start reading books because he subconsciously doesn't trust his attention span. Either way, it doesn't matter who's right. At the end of the day, Mikey's my only little brother and I love him. Even if my argument was poor, I was trying to influence him to read, because HELLO! College = reading like crazy. I worry I'm a bad influence on Mikey in other ways (i.e. drinking), so I try to compensate for my bad influence on him in areas related to academics (I'm a good influence there).

My sister has been bugging me about uploading stupid pictures from my camera onto Facebook. For some reason, I feel like withholding the pictures from Ali a bit longer until I have more to add to the album. Anyways, we're arguing, and although I get so frustrated with Ali and her immaturity/rudeness, I do love her, and this prayer helped calm me down:

Final Analysis Prayer by Mother Teresa

People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.

What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.

Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.

In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.

At the end of the day, though, it's overcoming our weaknesses and flaws that help us form ourselves into the best individuals we can be. One of my weaknesses is taking my frustrations out on my loved ones (i.e. family, Tony). But what separates family from the rest is that family will love unconditionally, which really is something beautiful. That kind of love mirrors God's unconditional love for us. Remembering that calms my frustrations and short temper with my family and allows my flaws to subside (for a while, at least).

First Post

Well, I gave in. I started a blog. For all those John Mayer fans out there, I'm sure you'll recognize my play on his song "Why Georgia." Those lyrics are perfection. Because really, this is a verdictless life...until the end of course. Another JM song, "New Deep," sums up how I feel right now: "Stop trying to figure it out...it will only bring you down." Seriously, though. Trying to decide what I'm going to do with my life is so overwhelming and just plain annoying, and really, in the end, who cares if I was an attorney or a hooker? Life isn't about who I am (or who you are) on the surface - it's about the way I lived my life; whether or not I was a good person and loved everyone as I would like to be loved. Although it may seem hard to believe that even a hooker can lead a good life, I chose to use that extreme (and probably controversial) example to prove that this truly is a life that is without verdict until the very end; thus, there's hope for even a hooker. Besides, Mary Magdalene was a prostitute, and most favored by Christ.

For those of you who haven't fallen in love with John Mayer's works, I strongly suggest you do. His older stuff is the best.

Why Georgia Lyrics

I am driving up 85 in the
kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom

Four more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
and leave it all behind

Cause I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why, why Georgia, why?

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
wood in places to make it feel like home
but all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul

Either way, I wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why, why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on me
but it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

Everybody is just a stranger but
that's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
still "Everything happens for a reason"
is no reason not to ask myself

If your're living it right
Are you living it right?
Are you living it right?
Why, tell me why
Why, why Georgia why?